What I'm Looking for in a Woman - Love - Romance - Spirituality

When I was 4-years-old I remember watching movies where the end would have a guy kissing a woman. This was presented as the ultimate good ending. So I found a willing 4-year-old girl and attempted to find this ultimate experience. Neither of us were particularly impressed that we had found the path to complete happiness.
During the years that followed I had romances. But they ended with the girl shifting or circumstances ended it very quickly (it seemed to be my curse). I still look back on these friendships with fondness.

I had to change my mind on what to anticipate from a romance upon accepting the teachings of the church (not having been a member until 15). What is more, my experiences with one female member completely reformed my thinking on what a woman can be. There are several things that are options for a guy to decide are or aren't important in finding a woman that he would be pleased to be married to forever. All these have varying degrees of importance to different people. The following is a list of things that have had importance to me of varying degrees in my lifetime (not in any particular order of importance).

1. We can have positive feelings from looking at someone that we consider good looking.
2. We can also have positive feelings from "spirit feeling" a person that feels good inside.
3. We may be "in love" and have butterfly feelings etc.
4. Then there is the actual human love we feel for people.
5. Then there is the pure love of Christ (charity) type love we feel for a highly spiritual person.(I could add things like "respect". But those sorts of things would fit in those things mentioned. And I'll come to that point.)

Looking at these points:
1. This "pleasing to the eye" bit has several aspects that need to be considered. While, generally speaking, I would say that although it is very entertaining and promotes large feelings when first approaching romance, it really fades when real love happens. That is; we come to find a whole new world of love and feelings far beyond it: A spiritual love that is far deeper and meaningful.Yet someone can appear good looking because their deeper spiritual feelings come through. So the two ought not be confused. But the two are confused by us unless we really study the thing deeply.I should also add that the shape of the body has had effect on me in the past. However, very fortunately (and thanks to Heavenly Father), I have come to discover this to be a dark-side concept that attacks our true joy. For those caught up in it I strongly advise to give it away.

2. I'll deliberately keep this separate from points 4 and 5. I can feel people's perception of themselves and many aspects of how they see life, by feeling inside them. If you haven't done this much yet (as we all do it to some degree) reach out with your spirit and you will find this. It makes choosing a marriage partner far simpler than guessing by "the seeing of the eye and the hearing of the ear" type judgement.We are made up of a whole collection of thoughts and feelings on various types of life aspects. We have a spiritual section, a social section, pride section, lustful distortions section, romance section etc. And then you can dissect them further if so inclined. Each section is either well or not so well. Some are almost totally neglected in some people. And some are best left neglected. But this point is a primary area in successful searching for an appropriate eternal partner.

3. This may seem a strange parallel, but it is a perfect example because of the seriousness of the situation - People in war will sometimes use grenades. The problem with grenades is that if you throw them and they hit a branch on a tree they can come back on your own side. Only by using them correctly will they be the advantage intended. The same would be said of being in love. If point 2 isn't done properly then this can be a curse rather than a blessing.But, having said that, this is certainly a nice part of such relationships. And I believe it can only be improved upon and be fantastic (over the years) where the relationship is built on true spiritual love (point 5).I would like to bust a myth here and say that you can actually turn it off IF you really choose to (yes, you can). And you can equally turn it on where you find a good reason to love someone. I have done both. What you feed into your heart (spirit) is what it accepts in regard these matters.

4. If we have good love for humanity this love will also be present for our spouse. Here there should be shown all those necessary traits such as respect to other's opinions, rights etc.

5. For someone to feel this exceptional feeling about their spouse they would require an increadible spouse. This is a point that should be worked toward. This is where you regard your spouse to be so spiritual that you trust their opinion more than you trust your own. Only where you know that God has said something to the contrary would you not follow their opinion.

But most important thing I look for is a burning from the Holy Ghost that this is the person God knows it is best I marry.

Hopefully I've said something that will be of value to someone else in this.