Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Expressing Our True Feelings?

I don't think too many people would argue with me if I stated that women are far more likely to verbally express their feelings than men. The question then arises as to whether this is a good or bad thing? The next question that arises is whether this applies right across the board of all subjects in life? Thirdly, are the feelings expressed really what the person feels deep down? And lastly, why don't men express their feelings as much as women?
On the movie "Tootsie" Dustin Hofman (diguised as a woman) has this conversation with the female he is interested in. The female goes through this explaination of what she wishes a guy would say to her. So, as himself, he goes up to her and says these things. Her response was to slap him across the face and walk off.
During my life I have many times heard women say what they want and then go out and do exactly the opposite. I have had long conversations with women who have come to me for advice. They agree with what I say and then go out and do what they just said wasn't a good idea to do.
So before expressing a feeling it is important to be sure that it really is what you think, not what you are just telling yourself. In line with this because of so much nonsense being said relative to women's issues these days many things women are saying they haven't really thought about deeply. They are just echoing something that sounds good.
This creates major problems with a lot of trendy ideas being placed in people's minds. For example, women and men like the idea of someone special that you become one with: A giving of yourself to the person and they being yours. However so many women are mindwashed with the independance (i.e. women have been supposedly suppressed by men for thousands of years and now must be their own person) concept. It is impossible to be someone else's, yet be your own person, regardless of how you envisage this being possible in your mind. You are either giving yourself to someone else or you aren't. The two can't mix successfully.
While men would usually see this as rationally obvious I can understand women having trouble with the logic of this. I would therefore suggest to women having trouble accepting this that you start envisaging some senarios through in your head. Take them all the way. Invisage a man being independant but doing all the things you say. Then invisage you in exactly the same senario. Go through every step of the senario again - don't cut a moment short.
If you do this properly, and with an open mind, you will come to see what I mean.
I believe that the main reason a person doesn't express their true feelings is because they don't feel they will be listened to. If that is true (and I'm only throwing it into the pot for consideration) does this mean that the reason most men don't express their feelings is that they don't believe their wives/girlfriends will really listen?
And would that then mean that women express their feelings so often because they believe that people hear/believe them eventually if they say it often enough?
Both men and women are naturally more sympathetic to females complaining. There is a natural thing within us (that I believe comes from our eternal past) that makes us feel this empathy toward women. Which means that women and men need to overcome their natural desire to only perceive women as having gender based problems that require addressing.
We live in a society where we are pounded with women's issues. Wife bashing (almost no mention of husband bashing); rape against women (almost no mention of rape against men); women not wanting to stay at home and look after children (no mention of how men felt about the 9 to 5); The problems of motherhood (no mention of how fathers feel); How romantic women are because they like being given flowers (no mention of how romantic men are by striving to fix the car to take the wife where she wants to go) etc.
The reason we are pounded with women's issues is because women know their issues will be listened to. Why don't men say how they feel about their issues? Is it a, "what's the point?"

2 comments:

Theist Think Tank said...

Here’s a million dollar question – If you were to die right now, would you qualify for the celestial kingdom? If you’re like most Mormons, you’re not sure. You try hard to be as good as possible, but you still don’t know if you’ve done enough. If the Book of Mormon is really scripture, this hope will always elude you. Alma 11:37 says God cannot save you in your sins. Are all of your sins forgiven? Moroni 10:32 says you must be perfected in Christ, which can only be done by denying yourself of “all ungodliness”. Have you done that? Do you repent on a regular basis? Is so, then it is clear that you sin on a regular basis, since only those who break the commandments need to repent. 1 Nephi 3:7 states that you are able to keep His commandments. In fact according to D&C 25:15, you are required to keep them continually! Since you haven’t done this so far, why assume you will in the future? Of course, we should all try to be holy; but if you think that sinning less will qualify you to live in God’s presence, you are mistaken (Gal 3:1-11). The assumption that good works are required for forgiveness only cheapens Christ’s atonement, making it nothing more than a partial payment. God chooses to justify us by faith. Jesus alone does the “perfecting” (Heb 10:14). God gives peace to those who trust in Him alone. If you don’t have this peace, it’s probably because at least a part of you trusts in yourself. Questions? Visit us at www.gotforgiveness.com

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